So how many of you have seen this phrase on profiles, such as
Grindr, DNR, Jack'd, Scruff, A4A, etc?
Everytime I see this wording, it cracks me up. I find it so funny that people are putting this as their headline on a Gay app. Sorry to burst your bubble hunny, there is nothing straight about sucking a cock, even if they look as fabulous as I do.
One of my favorite things to ask these kinds of people is, "What kind of things are you into?"...their answers are usually "I am a top, I fuck, and that’s it". Maybe this is what they mean when they say, "straight acting". When I think of straight people having sex, I picture a man sucking on titties, girl blowing the guy, guy eating her out, then fucking. When I hear a gay guy say he is "straight acting", I do not see them doing this with anyone, unless the person has transitioned.
When you are on one of these fabulous apps next time, make
sure to network with one of these straight actors and get their opinion on
what they mean by this phrase. Feel free to comment below with your research, I am curious to find out more =)
Have a Jizzilicious Day!
"Coming Out" About The Truth!
I am writing this entry because I am angry! It has really taken a few years for me to realize that the time has come for me to come all out. I have dealt with so much pain when my sisters ask me if I am Gay and for me to say no. I never lied to my family, I have always been honest. I am Pansexual not Gay, not Straight, and not BI. My mother raised me with all her love and I have taken that all in.
I have really found myself this year and have come to realize that all I want in life is to live it to the fullest.
Going back to my freshman year at RIT, this was a time I thought I was Gay because of my friends who were Gay and introduced me to a culture, where I felt I could be free. I went out to the clubs and got to meet new people that were going through similar things, like I was.
I was a kid that was tortured and felt so low in life, that I would have rather died than feel pain again. I could relate to all my new "friends" because we were all fighting for freedom and now we had it at college. I could spread my wings, but was there a point where I spread them too much? I must admit I got crazy where I wanted to be friends with everyone and wanted to feel close with everyone. This new feeling was amazing because it felt joyous, uplifting, I was finally happy. I did not want this feeling to end, but can you blame me?
RIT was such a great thing, but as all great things, they go sour with my luck. I started to be shunned, put on a "Do Not Associate List" as some would say. Beating me down to feel like I was nothing. My suicide thoughts started to come back and all I wanted to do was lock myself up in my room. I hated my life and wanted nothing to do with people. This was a time I thought I was so ugly as a guy, that the only time I felt happy was when I was in drag. For a period of time, I even thought I might have been transgender because all I wanted to do was be done up, before I went out in public. I came to realize that I was not a woman, but just trying to hide my true identity with costumes and heavy makeup. So heavy that people could not see the pain underneath. I had to leave this school because it was a place that was making me feel disgusting.
The point where I realized the time had come for me to leave the RIT area and start over, was when my old roommate assaulted me: cut my leg open, destroyed my room, destroyed my property (threw clothes in the toilet with urine and broke my door). I called the Police and they could hear the noise and the assault happening on the phone, so they sent 6 officers, to which they restrained him and had him listen to them. This was a person who I thought was my role model, a person that helped me come out of my shell, but was one of those people who helped ruin my reputation. Talking about me behind my back and getting people to stop being friends with me. This was too much drama for me. I needed to get out! I got a job and found a new place and moved out. A new beginning!
Now a days, the rumors, the hatred, the shade and the drama is still going on. I still hear people bad talking me at RIT and other parts of Rochester, NY and in all honesty it does hurt at times, especially because all I want to do is be friends with everyone. That is a big down flaw of mine because I have such a big heart and want to be there for everyone, but I need to realize that I cannot do that all the time. I can respect others, but only love those who love me.
As always I know I blend a whole lot of topics into one and sometimes ramble but I want you all to know it takes a lot of stress and time for me to talk about this stuff. I am use to keeping it all in and just looking down on myself. I want to feel free and just let the negativity in my life, to just sashay away.
Those people out there that jumped on the band wagon of bad talking me and making me feel like crap, I feel sorry for you. You missed out on a great person, a person that would bring you laughter and show you a beautiful time with life.
I want to say to my family, I love you, I am sorry that you feel I have lied to you about my sexuality or things in my life. I want to love someone who loves me. I don't care who they are, as long as their personality is glowing and they have the light inside of them, that is all I need. I want someone that had the love that my mother had for life. Such an angelic look on life. I do not think that it is picky or whorish because I do not pick a team, I think that means I am just open to love. I want love and that's not a lot to ask for.
Now it is time for me to listen to some music and clear my mind. I love you World, thanks for allowing me to grace your surface. I am ready to take part in more adventurous journeys and really live my life to the fullest.
Thanks for reading! xoxo
The Single Life!
Soo with Valentine's day passing, I got thinking, I needed to write about my single life.
For all those who did not know, I am single and always have been! Shocking? ehh not really.
I must admit it gets lonely but at the same time I do not know if I have time to have a boo. With my schooling, work, and drag, life becomes too busy.
But let me say with Drag, it makes it easier to be single because its not like people want me anyways. Drag is the major blocker of dating because people get confused to what gender I am or my interests. I constantly get told because of drag, I must be fem! Well not really, to be honest I like to be pretty "butch" at times too =)
Drag is a hobby of mine and I have become more seriously with it over time, but right now I just need to focus on myself. If I were to date someone, I would need them to accept my drag and what I do with it. It is a big part of me and if someone cannot accept that, then Sashay away!
As I get to know new people, one thing they tell me is they are impressed that I come out and say I am a drag queen and I would have to say that is because I do not want to keep it a secret. I like to be honest and blunt because the truth will come out in uglier forms, if you are not honest from the gecko.
Being single sucks at times especially at night, when you just want to cuddle with someone but I overcome that loneliness and just find one of my fluffy pillows =).
Anyways, I need to get to bed but I want to end off saying, if you think you would date a drag queen or want to give a holler to me? =) then speak up bitch because I have a hard time picking up on signs hehe.
xoxo - JizzaBella
The random but entertaining Queen herself! The Official Diary of JizzaBella.